New Habits; Old Habits

Weight loss is something that has been a hit or miss for me. Mostly, a miss -- I tried various diets. I worked with a personal trainer. I got nowhere. Even my trainer was puzzled on why some days things I was doing just the week before was kicking my butt -- like really kicking my butt -- and why the scale wasn't moving. Sure, my diet wasn't "great", but it wasn't bad either.  After almost half a year with her, I quit. We were struggling to make the payments and with no results why was I paying.

I let it go and after several months, maybe a year or more I decided to talk to my doctor. That and I was slowly climbing in weight and becoming more and more unhappy.  Well, I talked to the doctor, told her what was going on: not being able to lose weight, being extremely tired all the time, lack of energy, etc. She gave me a couple of referrals: a family doctor that specializes in obesity and a pulmonologist that specializes in sleep disorders.

The pulmonologist took my info and immediately had me do a sleep study. The results: I have sleep apnea. Guess what if you have sleep apnea you have a hard time losing weight and you suffer from fatigue.  The obesity doctor listened to my story and told me she wanted me to do my best to start cutting carbs and added sugars out of my diet. She also ordered some blood work to be done. Results: Vitamin B deficiency, Vitamin D deficiency, and insulin resistance/high insulin (NOT diabetes my blood sugar is perfect). Guess what if you have those things you have a hard time losing weight and you suffer from fatigue.

So I have 4 confirm diagnoses that all have the same symptoms. All of which is a contributing factor to my weight, besides my own eating habits, and my constant fatigue, lack of energy etc. And those eating habits: Yes, my diet was a bit carb heavy some days, but overall, it wasn't so much food by volume. So cut the carbs, cut the added sugars, drink more water, start sleeping every night with a cpap machine and start taking the vitamin supplements and medicine for the insulin resistance.

All of this with the obesity doctor and sleep doctor started the end of April beginning of May 2017. So about 8 months. I have had ups and downs the last 8 months. Some weeks I have done better -- I was doing really good for a while, but this last couple of months especially since right before Christmas has been the toughest. I have slowly been slipping back into old habits. Late night snacks. Eating more then I should. I have watched the scale slowly creep back up. 

Overall I have lost, but if I continue to let these old habits creep back in I'm not going to see weight loss. I'm upset with myself for allowing my old habits to kick in and I find myself excusing it by saying "Tomorrow will be better!" "I will stick with it tomorrow."

Truth is -- tomorrow will never come. I know it won't.  I need to just grab it by the horns and quit making excuses and quit saying "tomorrow".

It took months to get to this point and I don't want to lose sight of the end goal. I have a long way to go but I need to do this.